i don't know where to start... it's been an interesting week, and it's hard to believe it's only wednesday. let me just go in order.
yesterday at around 1:30 pm, alex's baby brother was born. he was so excited to hear the news when i picked him up from day camp. today i took him out there to meet his brother. it was weird for me. not upsetting, but weird to hang in a small hospital room with my ex husband, his finance, and their new baby. i felt like an intruder. anyway, alex was excited at first, but when wayne went to hand him the baby, the baby started to cry. in turn, alex started to cry. he didn't want to hold the baby anymore and wanted to leave. we all tried to explain that babies cry and that he needs to get used to it. we didn't push him holding the baby anymore, but we had him sit with him and talk to him and stuff. alex is spending the month of july with his dad, so he'll get used to the baby then.
last night i was crunching numbers to see if it was possible for me to take the day care job. although it pays more than i'm making now, i still fall short. i emailed the girl (the daughter part of the mother-daughter team) and asked how frequently we'd be paid (i was trying to estimate taxes, etc with this cool tool i found online). she said she wasn't sure what her mom wanted to do. well this morning, out of the blue, her mom called me. i wasn't expecting this. she asked why i was asking about the pay frequency. i explained that i was playing with numbers. she said that if i needed to be paid weekly in the beginning since i'd be changing jobs she would work with that. she said she really wants me to be a member of her team! (imagine how that made me feel) hearing this just makes things more difficult since i got a look at the numbers last night. a big part of me wants to take the job. the rest of me is nervous about the money.
so that brings me to other news. i got an email this morning from the principal i mentioned before (she was AP at my first school when i was there and is now principal there). she said in her message that her secretary would be calling to set up an interview. i thought it was really cool that she emailed. of course, this sent me into high anxiety mode because i had to go work at the store and i couldn't have my phone on me. i finally decided to email the principal my work number so they could reach me there because i was so worried about missing the secretary's call. the call came into work about 30 minutes before i got off. it's set for tomorrow at 2pm. i'm glad i got an interview, and i know that's not an offer, but i am feeling good about things since i know people there. that helps. plus, last year i had excellent test scores so no one can argue with the fact that i can teach (at least teach to the test).
so the shitty part of my day? my mom lectures me (this makes for 2 days in a row) about finding a job. this coming from a person who is once again unemployed and seems unable to keep a job. anyway, she doesn't want me to go back to work for pasadena. she wants me to stay on this side of town. she also doesn't think i can be picky right now. i think now, more than ever, i have every right to be picky. i've learned a lot about my mental/emotional health in this last year. i am in no way using that as a crutch, but i need to do what is going to be best for me. anyway, my mom wants me to take any job close to home. i have not told her about the day care job and how bad they want me. she would be against it without even hearing it out. i also did not tell her about my interview tomorrow. she is so negative and all she does is accuse me of being stubborn. i know i'm hard-headed, but i have reasons for making the decisions i am making about potential places to work. i am doing the best thing for me and what i need. i rarely do that. it's time i do. i need to be happy with going to work everyday. i don't have her luxury to be unemployed and watch TV all day in my pajamas. i need to work, and i need to be happy. sometimes i find it hard to imagine work and happy in the same sentence, but i know it is possible and what i am currently looking for.
i'll blog tomorrow about my interview and my decision (if i can make it by tomorrow).
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