the garden state--part 2 (the trip)

so i went to new jersey in the middle of november.  i took off friday and monday and made a long weekend out of it.  my boss wasn't too happy, but i was suffocating here and had to get away.  i did my best to explain that without sounding totally crazy.

i arrived in new jersey friday afternoon.  NJ didn't believe i would actually get on the plane (since i had said twice before that i was going to visit and didn't).  he met me at the airport.  he had been tracking my flight, so he knew that we were ahead of schedule.  we hugged.  it was a nice reunion.

i actually managed to travel without checking a bag.  that's HUGE!  so, we went straight to his car and drove to jersey city.  i was starving.  we went to some little hole in the wall pizza place.  the pizza was greasy, but it was good.  we then went back to his place (which is a SUPER nice 3 bedroom apartment on a cute little street).

we hung out and relaxed friday night.  just watched tv, had dinner (some italian place that delivered), and drank wine.  we talked a lot about my sister (he happened to know her before knowing me).  i drank A LOT of wine--a little more than a bottle.  i was feeling pretty good, but also felt like it was time for bed.  i asked about sleeping arrangements.  we decided that two grown people could share a bed--ha ha ha! one thing led to another--we had sex--and cuddled the rest of the evening.

saturday morning:  the night before hung over us.  an elephant in the room so to say.  i didn't bring it up though.  we finally got moving and had a nice lunch in hoboken where we could look  out at NYC.  we talked and had fun.  that night we dressed up and drove into the city for a comedy show.  it was my first time to go to a show like that.  it was a lot of fun.  some people weren't as funny as others, but the ones that were funny were really funny!  the MC was asking people in the front row where they were from.  NJ spoke up (we were in the front row) that he was from jersey and i was from texas.  then he (NJ) proceeded to tell the whole new york comedy club that we were dating before i could say that we were friends.  dating?? news to me.  he even held my hand.  it was a nice feeling, but very confusing.

i tried to talk to him sunday morning about us "dating" and what was going on with us, but he wouldn't talk about it.  he said he didn't know.  i came home early monday morning, still not knowing what was happening and where i stood.  was i supposed to be waiting for him to make a decision?  were we seeing each other?

to shorten this post, let me say that i finally got an answer LAST WEEK!  i just came out and asked him what was going on?  he told me that he can't give me what i need right now.  i thanked him for telling me.  i really could go either way.  he's a great friend that i don't want to lose.  i would like to see more, but am i really in a position to have a relationship with him?  do i really want to do the long distance thing?  do i want to move to the east coast and freeze my ass off for months?

for now, it is what it is and i'm happy with that!