happy new year 2015!

i looked back at past january posts and noticed that i usually write my resolutions on january 1st.  i have also spent my first blog post of a new year reflecting on the previous year.  this post may be a combination of those.

the beginning of 2014 was rough because i was working for an unethical principal who didn't like me for some reason and went out of her way to treat me like crap.  no, that wasn't in my head.  my co-workers saw it too.  i miss those co-workers and the kids i worked with.  leaving was probably the right decision for me, but i still long for those relationships.  the middle of 2014 brought change.  we moved and i started my new job.  i found something i a good at and enjoy.  that should bring happiness, but the end of 2014 was rough because i am always broke.  i do not make enough money to take care of us.  it's been a struggle and has taken away all the good feelings of the success and fun of my job.

i'm starting the new year looking for work (again).  have i mentioned that i can't stand looking for a job!  i am also looking for a new graduate program.  i want to better my education and make myself more marketable.  i really want to go into a writing program.  i found two great ones! but realistically, i think i would be better with a more practical degree. i am looking at getting a masters in higher ed. that way i can work at a university.  i believe i belong in a college setting.  i feel at home there.  we'll see what happens.

i've got the normal wishes for the new year, losing weight being at the top.  i have put on a lot of weight and i'm very unhappy about it.  i feel so unattractive.  i eat for all the wrong reasons, which is something that is difficult to stop.  something to work on this year.

i created a bucket list.  at least i am in the process of creating it.  it has 100 lines.  i have filled out 35.  i am pushing myself to find more.  at first i was like, i'm content and have done the things i want to do.  but, i am only 38.  life isn't over!  i refuse to let it be over.  so, i'm working on a list of places to go and things to do.  i want to start a non-profit of my own, do a Ted Talk, and open a writer's retreat/bed & breakfast.  those are the big ones.  i also want to attend NYE in NYC, meet my half brother, and use snail mail to show people i care.  all good things to strive for.

most of all, this year i want change!  i want to change my attitude and be a happier person.  i want to live each day without comprising who i am.  i want to be the person i want to be.  i'm not sure how to make this change happen.  if you have any ideas, let me know.

happy new year to my readers!  what are your hopes for this year!

2014 resolutions

i know y'all are on the edge of your seats waiting to see what my resolutions will be this year.  i have been putting a lot of thought into this.  that's why it's 3 days late!  ha ha!  so here they are, in no particular order:

1. focus on my 43 things.  i have even started a blog to write about what i'm working on and where i am at.  i haven't been good about keeping up with said blog, but one of my resolutions related to my 43 things will to be blog about them.

2. lose ALL the weight i have put back on.  i want to be skinny again.  i am unhappy being fat (even though i'm told by others that i'm not fat, i know i am).  this is difficult for me because i don't like feeling hungry.  it's hard to lose weight without feeling hungry.  any suggestions?

3. stick to a budget and save money.  this is VERY important.  i am going to start working my second job again so i can start a savings.  i need to have "emergency" money and not get in desperate situations.  i have a friend who helped me with a budget and outlined what he believes will work for me.  i've got to stick to it.  out of all my resolutions, this is probably the MOST important.

4. be successful at school.  i had a rough term at the end of 2013 and didn't do the best that i could in my class (that damn depression got the better of me).  that WILL NOT happen again. failure IS NOT an option.  i will do well in school and get the credits i need to teach college english.

5. define what i want in a relationship and go after it.  i am rethinking what a relationship needs to be and what would best fit my needs.  i'm not going to go into too much right now, but i want to figure out what i want, define it, and find a partner(s) that fit into this.  this can be a whole other post...

6.  create a daily schedule and stick to it.  between school, two jobs, and alex and his schedule things are going to be crazy.  i'm going to want to work a social life in there too.  so, i'm trying to create a schedule on paper that i can stick to.  once i get that hammered out, the resolution is to stick to it.

since i like even numbers, i'm going to stop there.  having the 43 things on my list of resolutions really covers a lot.  a lot of the things overlap.

Resolutions for 2013

* take a picture each month to make a calendar at the end of next year

* lose 10-15 more pounds

* enter houston area women's center run/walk on march 2nd

* finish short story collection

* keep Q&A journal

* find a new FULL time job

* get own apartment

* volunteer

i didn't prioritize this list as i typed it.  of course the job and the apartment are highest on the list of the things i want, but the others are important too.  i think 2013 will be my year!  

Happy New Year! :)