happy new year 2015!

i looked back at past january posts and noticed that i usually write my resolutions on january 1st.  i have also spent my first blog post of a new year reflecting on the previous year.  this post may be a combination of those.

the beginning of 2014 was rough because i was working for an unethical principal who didn't like me for some reason and went out of her way to treat me like crap.  no, that wasn't in my head.  my co-workers saw it too.  i miss those co-workers and the kids i worked with.  leaving was probably the right decision for me, but i still long for those relationships.  the middle of 2014 brought change.  we moved and i started my new job.  i found something i a good at and enjoy.  that should bring happiness, but the end of 2014 was rough because i am always broke.  i do not make enough money to take care of us.  it's been a struggle and has taken away all the good feelings of the success and fun of my job.

i'm starting the new year looking for work (again).  have i mentioned that i can't stand looking for a job!  i am also looking for a new graduate program.  i want to better my education and make myself more marketable.  i really want to go into a writing program.  i found two great ones! but realistically, i think i would be better with a more practical degree. i am looking at getting a masters in higher ed. that way i can work at a university.  i believe i belong in a college setting.  i feel at home there.  we'll see what happens.

i've got the normal wishes for the new year, losing weight being at the top.  i have put on a lot of weight and i'm very unhappy about it.  i feel so unattractive.  i eat for all the wrong reasons, which is something that is difficult to stop.  something to work on this year.

i created a bucket list.  at least i am in the process of creating it.  it has 100 lines.  i have filled out 35.  i am pushing myself to find more.  at first i was like, i'm content and have done the things i want to do.  but, i am only 38.  life isn't over!  i refuse to let it be over.  so, i'm working on a list of places to go and things to do.  i want to start a non-profit of my own, do a Ted Talk, and open a writer's retreat/bed & breakfast.  those are the big ones.  i also want to attend NYE in NYC, meet my half brother, and use snail mail to show people i care.  all good things to strive for.

most of all, this year i want change!  i want to change my attitude and be a happier person.  i want to live each day without comprising who i am.  i want to be the person i want to be.  i'm not sure how to make this change happen.  if you have any ideas, let me know.

happy new year to my readers!  what are your hopes for this year!

what if... wednesday (3rd time is a charm)

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If you could wake up tomorrow in the body of someone else currently living, would you do so? Whom would you pick?

there is a lot to consider when answering this question.  i need to know the conditions. am i forever going to inhabit this other person's body? while i'm in this other person's body, will i have all the knowledge i have now or will i take on this person's intelligence and memories?  (thinking of drop dead diva)  what would happen to this person while i was in his/her body? (thinking of freaky friday)

so in order for me to answer this question, i'm going to make some assumptions...

if i was going to be in this person's body for 24 hours, i would do it.  i would not want to forever leave behind who i am (although i have wished i could be someone else, i don't really want to be anyone other than me).

we're going to assume that i will keep my own knowledge and memories.  i thought for a moment that it would be good to see someone else's thought processes, but i would learn more about being in someone else's body if i had my own wisdom to bring to the situation.

so, now we get to the part where i need to choose whose body i will wake up in.  i'm thinking of this as a social experiment.  i have two schools of thought.  i could choose someone rich and famous and see how it feels to have the world at my fingertips or i could choose someone in a worse situation than me and learn to appreciate what i have.  it's not so much about what kind of life i will lead for 24 hours, but how others will react to me based on the body i am in.

if i could wake up tomorrow in the body of someone else i would choose the homeless woman who hangs out at 610 and westheimer near the galleria.  don't laugh!  i put a lot of thought into this.  although i would have my own thoughts and memories and not know what is going on in her head, i would see where she wakes up.  where is she before she goes and stands on that corner for hours trying to get money from whoever will roll their window down?  what is her life like?  who does she live with? does she have a home?  a family?  is that corner her only hope for a better life?

in her body, i would like to help her and make a difference.  maybe, even if it's only 24 hours, i could change things for her.  i could get her in touch with resources.  get her "in the system". help her find a job.  i don't know.  i would like to use that day to help someone who doesn't have things as easy as i do.  even if i only make a small difference.

also from that day i would like to take back to my life the knowledge of what it is like to walk in someone else's shoes.  being that woman for a day would cause people to react differently to me.  even though i feel that my life has been really hard lately, but i know people have it worse.  i would see what it is like not to have anything and to have to pray that some stranger would take time to help me.  i think i would learn a lot from being in her body for the day.

who would you choose?  it doesn't have to be as serious and profound as my analysis of this question.  link up and let me know!

the list

so i thought i would make my list "official" by posting it on my blog.  these are some things i would like to do.  things that i think would make my life more fulfilling.  things that would make me feel like i was doing more with my life than i currently am.

The List

* volunteer at a rape crisis hotline
* serve on a rodeo committee
* travel (i have no desire to leave the U.S., but there are a lot of things i would love to see and do here)
* publish some of my writing
* have dinner parties
* get a degree in english/creative writing so i could teach at the college level
* attend parties/galas etc. for organizations i am interested in
* meet new people/make new friends
* take another writing course in NYC

i'm sure there is more, but those are the ones that instantly come to mind.  how am i gonna make it all happen?  hmm....