goodbye 2013, hello 2014

i had started a post about things i won't miss in 2013.  i was only able to think of 4 things, which i know can't be right.  not to sound so negative, but i know that more shitty things than just 4 happened in 2013.  so, i'm going to try a different approach.  well kinda...

january 2013:  i was still living with my parents.  i was working at that horrible day care that was making me physically ill.  i tried to start off the year on a positive note with resolutions and notebooks, etc, but it didn't change that life at the time sucked.  also, my grandpa passed away.  i miss him greatly, but the man lived a wonderful life and touched many people.  he is missed by all, but i'm glad he's not suffering anymore.

february 2013: i was supposed to go see NJ.  parents got mad that i would take a trip when i couldn't afford to live on my own.  i didn't go to please them, but this made living there worse.  on a good note, i got the job at camperoo and it saved me from that hell of a job.  it put me in an office working.  i miss that job and the people i worked with.  i learned a lot and felt quite successful!  i also started working with my writing coach.  she has helped me grow so much as a writer and i really look up to her.  i think with her help and my persistence, i can finish this collection.

march 2013: rodeo time!  i also got to travel to SF and chicago for work (two places i had never been).  i got a new tattoo in SF.

april 2013: nothing stands out (it's 5:45 AM, easy to forget something)

may 2013:  pretty uneventful 37th birthday celebration--did have dinner with a good friend, but no big party or anything.  things finally came together for me that we would be able to move out of my parents's house.  i worked hard to get approved for an apartment.  i made some super cute moving announcements and packed up my boxes and went through things at storage.

june 2013: moving day arrived!  this had to be the best day of my life! :) i have never had so much energy as i did in the first week living here.  i unpacked and got everything taken care of.  i was (and still am) excited to have a place of our own.  J and i got back together (which at the time was happy---it's only sad now because we're not together anymore).  i started my writing group (which is still going).  i also started my first term of grad school online, which just about kicked my ass. i ended up with an A- and i'm thankful for that.

july 2013: nothing stands out (too early, remember?)

august 2013:  growing a bit restless, i applied for a high school english teaching position.  never thought i would get it, but i did.  i started one week before school did and worked my ass off to get everything ready.  i have to say i love my students. i enjoy teaching them.  there are still things about teaching i don't like (paperwork, politics, etc), but i am sure that would be found with any job.  at the end of the month, i purchased a new car because mine was giving me all sorts of trouble.  i put over $1K in it in a week.  i couldn't keep doing that.  that's almost 3 car payments.

september 2013:  alex, now a 5th grader!, celebrated his 11th birthday.  i was able to give him a party this year.  it was a bowling party.  there were like 20 kids there.  it was crazy, but to see alex SO happy made everything worth it.

october 2013:  i dressed up as a butterfly for halloween and enjoyed a cool party at the science museum with a good friend.  my class, literary theory, was kicking my ass more than the first class.  depression started to get bad.  i wasn't really sure why, but i just wanted to lay in bed at night and do nothing.  this set up a bad situation for me.

november 2013:  J broke up with me--not because of me (i'm wonderful) but because he wasn't feeling "it" anymore.  well that "new relationship high" does wear off.  it's hard to keep that forever. but, whatever.  i'm better now (i really am).  my depression did dip to an all time low (just about as low as anyone can get).  i decided a weekend away would be good for me---i went to new jersey.  i also started back with online dating, which is a pain in the ass all by itself.  i'm trying to take a new attitude and make it fun, but it's still frustrating getting asked by young guys (19-24) to have sex (rather bluntly).

december 2013: i started going to therapy again.  it helped some.  i am no longer as depressed as i was. in fact, i'm finding some energy over christmas break and hope i can keep it up once i go back to work next week.  i signed up for affordable care (health insurance) and am quite pleased with the benefits i will be receiving.  i made a new friend (P).  he's great and i think i can learn a lot from him (about relationships and life in general).  i've also met several guys online that are worthy of talking to.  so, maybe there is a chance for love in 2014 (on some level--whatever that will mean for me).

looking ahead to 2014:

* new friendships (romantic and platonic)
* hanging out with old friends
* 20 year high school reunion (don't know if i'll go, but 20 years?-wow!)
* getting alex off to middle school
* continuing to better myself
* being successful in school (my online classes--i'm retaking last term's class since depression got in the way.  this term--NOTHING will get in the way.
* continuing to teach my students and form relationships with them--watching them succeed
* managing my money better--finally getting out of debt and saving something

really, the possibilities are endless.  there is so much that can happen in the next 6 months, it's crazy to think about.  i'm going into this year with a positive attitude and the hope for great things.

(next post--my resolutions)

things are changin'

happy sunday!

* i enjoyed my new job last week.  it was only there 3 days, but i feel good about it.  i'm ready to start the new work week and see what it brings me.

* my car hit 100,000 miles last week.  i have never had a car this long!

* i am getting a new blog design!  i found someone who designs blogs and is reasonable in price.  i sent her all my information and what i'm looking for.  i can't wait until it's finished!

* i decided to do the writing thing i mentioned a few posts ago.  i am getting my first story ready for submission.  the company will write my cover letter, find places for me to submit to, and then i'll wait to hear from editors.  i am hoping someone goes for my story.

* i am going to start doing a weekly special blog post of my own, and i want to start linking up with others and taking part in their blogs (similar to when i linked up and did wednesday confessions).  i just need to think of what i want my weekly post to be.

friday night blah

i hope everyone had a good thanksgiving holiday.  today was black friday, or as my company calls it, "green friday."  i didn't see as much "green" as i would have liked.  we weren't as busy as we could have been.  i think it's because we're not in a mall.

i keep thinking today is saturday.  it's throwing me off.

today alex opened his first savings account.  he was very excited.  i was impressed that he had $112 to deposit.  i'm hoping he'll learn about saving money.  i'm not good at it, but maybe he will be.

tomorrow alex has his first orthodontist appointment.  we're going to find out if he is ready for braces.  he will def need them, but it may not be time yet.  he's nervous.  i told him the first appointment is nothing to worry about.  i'm taking him to the son of the orthodontist that did my braces.

i didn't make my writing goal last week.  i had a story due last sunday, and i'm still struggling with it.  i went ahead and started the next assignment as i try to wrap up last week's.  i'm struggling with the new story because i'm not sure what direction i want to take it.  there are a lot of possibilities.  i started it a few months back.  i like what i have so far, but as i was writing my main character was becoming unlikeable.  i stopped working on that because i didn't want that to happen.  my readers have to root for her on some level.  so that is the battle i am having right now.  it is occupying a lot of time in my brain.

J and i had a nice time at the museum and on our picnic last week.  we had "the talk" about what we want and where this is going.  freaked me out a little, but since he brought it up and wanted to lay all the cards on the table that made me feel good.  we seem to be on the same page about a lot of things.  i'm working to keep this low key at the moment and not get too excited, but i do enjoy his company.  i'm anxious to see where this will go.  who knows?

my grandpa is pretty sick.  he has heart problems.  actually the same thing i have (congestive heart failure).  but now he is showing signs of confusion and memory loss.  he forgets where he is, what year it is , etc.  i'm sad because i love my grandpa so much.  i'm really hoping he'll get better soon and will be with us a few more years.  i know it's not up to me, but i'm not ready for him to go.

hanukkah starts in a couple of weeks.  i'm trying to figure out what to get alex.  i'm playing with the idea of a cell phone, but i don't know if a 10 year old really needs a cell phone.  i have my old phone from before i got my iPhone.  it's not a smart phone, but would be a good "starter phone".  i just don't know if he's ready for it and if it's a good idea.

i want to be a writer when i grow up

good morning faithful readers! :)

i decided to start writing again.  part of this inspiration came from the guy, J, that i mentioned in my last post.  he writes every day and is going to be a published author soon.  he is in the process of choosing art for the cover of his novel.  how cool is that?

i figure that i could one day be in that position.  in fact, i want to be in that position.  so, i've decided to get back to work on my short story collection.  i know that NaNoWriMo is approaching, but i'm not going to attempt a novel this year.  i'm going to work on getting this collection in shape.

so far, i have chosen 5 stories to work on (i believe in setting realistic goals).  i wrote down what each story needs.  some just need revisions.  a couple need to be finished and then revised.  one needs to be written.

after choosing those 5 stories i took out a calendar and assigned myself due dates.  i'm going to hang these calendars in my room.  i am going to try VERY hard to write EVERYDAY!  i will mark on the calendars the days i accomplish this.  i'm hoping to be successful and have half of my collection complete by the new year.

i'm excited.

i'm motivated.

i have a plan.

now i just have to keep this momentum going...