i have been absent from my blog(s) for over a month. i just haven't had much to say. well, i guess i had stuff i could share, but i wasn't up for sharing it.
over the last week i have read a lot of year in review blogs. of course the blogs i read all belong to these happy people who are having babies and spending time with their husbands. i still have alex to be thankful for, but i am without a special someone to share my time with. i decided on new year's eve that my resolution for 2011 is to find someone to spend new year's eve with in 2011. i refuse to be alone at the end of this year.
anyway, i refuse to do a year in review for the end of 2010. although the year was not as bad as 2009, it was still full of heartache and pain and i don't want to relive that. i am just looking forward to moving on and hopefully (finally) figuring some things out. i'm tired of the lost feeling. i am tired of feeling like i am stumbling through life making mistake after mistake. so this will be a year of getting it all together (or getting better at faking it).
so for me, it's all about looking forward and making things happen. i don't want to dwell (obsess) on the past anymore. life is full of possibilities and i'm ready to take part in some of these possibilities. it's about more than finding love (which i want badly), but it's about finding myself. and not only finding myself, but also living with the person i find. being comfortable in my own skin. loving (hell, even liking) myself.
what do you hope for in 2011?
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