the clock is ticking

have i ever mentioned that i have a hard time making decisions? well i do. i always have. even simple things are sometimes difficult. i would rather have someone else decide things for me. this is usually not possible. i am usually left to make decisions on my own, which is how it should be for a grown woman in her (almost) mid-thirties. but i am happier when someone else picks the restaurant, movie, bar (unless i have my mind set on something). when it comes to the more difficult things, i take forever to make a decision sometimes. i think i worry about doing the wrong thing. in fact, i know that is what it is. i just want to do the right thing--i've always been that way.

so my most resent decision to make? well back in november, I was selected to go to the AWP conference with WITS. this is a huge conference. it would be a great time to meet other writers and teachers and network. it's in washington d.c. and i've never been there before. i booked my travel back in november (i had a voucher from jet blue that was about to expire). i found someone to share a room with in december. but the closer it gets, i'm questioning if i should even go. it's not so much the money i have to spend, but the money i will lose. i would have to take just about a whole week off at the store. i don't even know if she would let me do that. i'm also worried about alex. where would he stay? how would he get to school? who would pick him up?

so, since i am having doubts, should i just cancel my trip? should i try to overcome these obstacles i have found? do the opportunities out weigh the loses?

have i mentioned that i have a hard time making decisions???