the title of this post should probably be all fucked up because that is how i feel lately. every time i think i have something figured out, i'm thrown a curve ball. since i catch like a girl, i spend a while chasing the ball trying to figure out how to get a hold of it. usually it rolls under the fence and into the woods, right out of my reach. it sucks!
i'm tired of rejection. seems like every guy i like just wants to be friends. the guys i would rather be just friends with are totally into me. it's like i can't win. but isn't that how things work out?
i am often disappointed by people. it has happened again recently. people seem full of empty promises. which in my mind are just lies. things said to get what they want. i really hope i am not that way. i hope i'm not a disappointment.
i want to call people out on these lies, these broken promises. but everything is perception and i'm sure they do not perceive their actions the same way i do. i always thought i was a good judge of character, but it turns out that i'm easily fooled.
my thoughts are all jumbled and unfocused. i'm not sure what i want right now. i'm not sure what a relationship is. i'm not sure what i want from one. i'm not sure if i should stay single and stop searching. i'm just so unsure of everything.
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