it's day three of "the break". out of the last 3 days, yesterday was the most difficult. i miss the daily emails and texts from J. i'm used to texting him and it is difficult not to.
i had a thought on sunday night--maybe he'll really miss me, and i won't have to wait 2 full weeks.
i had a thought earlier--what if he does decide to continue to see me and i constantly worry about this happening again and again? i don't like this waiting and wondering. is this how i want to live my life?
i talked to both my therapist and my psychiatrist last night. they both said the best thing i can do is give him this space. they both understood how hard it would be for me. my therapist suggested counseling if that would help him/us. my psychiatrist said he would do a session with the two of us to discuss me and my diagnosis. sounds like it could be an option if we get more serious.
overall i'm doing okay. better than i thought i would be doing...
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