i had a day off today--no work! i needed it. been tired and had a busy weekend. so after taking alex to school, i went back to sleep. i woke up around 10:30 before my alarm went off. i got dressed and then sat down at my computer (PC) and started organizing pictures. i had pictures on a flash drive from my old lap top that needed to go somewhere. so i got the pictures off the flash drive and then went to therapy.
therapy. this was the first time i could get in to see her since i had my freak out a couple of weeks ago. she has been seeing me since 2005, and i'm so lucky that she'll see me at no cost since i have no mental health insurance and no money. i don't go on a regular basis. anyway, today was a good session. we talked about the good things about the "new guy" i'm seeing. we talked about me taking it slow (not physically--way too late for that), but just staying laid back and not trying to rush to define anything.
i told her that i realized on my drive to her office that i'm almost 35 and i feel like my life was more together in my early twenties than my mid-thirties. she asked me why. i told her that i think some of it has to do with my mental illness. although i have been in denial and made jokes, i have a diagnosis of bipolar. i hate it because of the stigma that goes with it, but it's something i'm going to have to learn to live with. i told her that i can't blame all my problems on my mental illness though. we talked about me basing my self-worth on what others think/feel about me. i seriously have to work on that. i have to believe i am worth it.
she reminded me that i'm smart and responsible and resourceful. she said i have been through so much since she met me and how she can see that i'm making better decisions. i just have to believe in myself. i told her that i know i want to be married again and i want to have a baby. i have no idea what i want to do professionally, which is a bit of a problem. she said it's ok to not know as long as i keep pushing forward and try to figure things out.
so after therapy i decided to go to souper salad--so yummy! :) then i went to best buy to look at printers. i filed my taxes yesterday and am gonna purchase a new printer since mine is from like the year 2000. the guy working there was very helpful. i told him that the most important thing was that i could sit on my couch and print in the other room (so wireless). i also wanted a scanner. he showed me a lex-mark one that is about $100 and the ink for it is only $5! if you have heard anything bad about these printers/ink let me know before i make my purchase, but i don't require a high-quaility printer and love the price of the ink!
after best buy i came home. i had an hour to kill before picking up alex from school. i decided to work on organizing more pictures. the bad thing about having a camera with a huge memory card is that you never have to take pictures off. i had pictures on there from 2008! so i organized them into folders on my PC and also put some newer ones on my mac book.
i decided i'm going to cook dinner tonight--gasp! been a while since i've done that. but i'm feeling pretty good and need to take advantage of this motivation!
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