why does it even need to feel like a game? that's what i wanna know. i just hate it. it sucks. it's stupid. isn't there any other way?
after much reflection and reading several articles in Cosmo i decided that i have to stop contacting that guy i like. i have to leave the ball in his court. i HATE being out of control of the situation, but i was never really in control to begin with. so i went all day yesterday without sending him a single message. i'm very proud of myself. i'm not going to text him today either. i'm totally waiting to hear from him.
but this poses some questions... how long do i wait? do i actually wait? i had a friend ask me to do something on friday night, but i wanted to leave my friday night open just in case i hear from my crush. is that super pathetic? should i go ahead and make plans and then turn my crush down if/when he contacts me?
he did tell me last week that he's super busy during the week with work. i am used to hearing from him around thursday/friday to hang out on friday/saturday. that was before i got all "psycho" about it. i feel like i'm handling things all wrong and i really hope that someone (maybe my therapist tomorrow) can put things in some sort of logical perspective.
i keep thinking though---maybe he's not that into me. i obviously expressed an interest. did that just scare him off? does he just want a friend? does he just want someone to have sex with that is a friend? does he want more, but is really just busy with work? does he want more, but doesn't know how to express that? am i allowed to ask him any/all of these questions?
like i said in the beginning--i hate this! the waiting is the worst part for me. well, that and not knowing the "right" things to say/do. i feel like i've never done this before (which is not the case). why do i feel like a duck out of water?
if you can shed any insight what-so-ever, then leave a comment or shoot me an email.
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