a troubled mom

there are two things concerning alex that are weighing on my mind tonite...

1. it was parent's night at his day camp tonite. we went and he was all excited to show me his song and dance that he has been working on with his group. well when they finally started the program (15 min. late) they sang songs as a whole camp. they did the basic camp songs that they've been singing for years (i worked there 2 summers ago, i knew the songs). anyway, the kids are screaming the songs (like kids do), and I look at my son and he's sitting there with his ears covered. he hates loud noises, always has, but to see him up at the front of the room covering his ears made me feel helpless. after about 10 minutes of screaming, they finally started the actual program. the songs were real cute. i was patiently waiting for alex's group to take the stage. alex left the room twice during this time. he went to leave a 3rd time and i stopped him. he said it was too loud in there for him and he wanted to go to the back of the room. i told him no because his group was sure to perform any minute. he went back to where he was and he was crying (so i felt worse). FINALLY, his group is up (last). he doesn't take the stage with the other kids. he sits on the floor next to the counselors in front of the stage. i told him to get up there, but he wouldn't. so he sat down there and sang and did the hand motions. he wouldn't join the group. i couldn't help but feel disappointment. so, i tell wayne all this. he says he thinks alex has asbergers. now, i've always thought he was somewhere on the autism spectrum, but what do i know? but wayne said that his ADHD meds are causing him to exhibit these behaviors. that's bullshit! wayne is just anti-medication. i have said since alex was very young that he was on the spectrum, but no one else seems to think so. we had him tested when we lived in Fort Bend ISD. they acted like i was crazy to think he had any form of autism. but his behaviors concern me, and my reactions to his behaviors concern me. i feel disappointment, embarrassment, and like a failure. i know this isn't about me, but i can't help what i'm feeling. i don't know what to do...

2. alex has been really angry lately. i don't know what it is. he has just been expressing a lot of anger. he did this right after my sister died. it slacked off, but seems to have come back. i don't know if it's related to that or what. i guess it could be just a phase he's going through. maybe part of getting older. i just know that i don't like it and i really wish i knew what to do about it. he said it's his "angry subconscious" doing it--that he doesn't know why he is angry. i guess this could be true, but i'm concerned. am i crazy?