i have so much running through my mind on this topic. it's something i've been passionate about for a long time. it's something i've spoken a lot about (even publicly). it's something that has caused a roller coaster of emotions this weekend (from sadness to totally pissed off!). let's hope i make some sense...
there was a mass shooting near a university in california this past weekend. six people were killed and 13 injured. oh, and the psycho (22 year old male) who did all this was too scared to own what he did, so he shot himself. (one less asshole in the world, but he should be here and have consequences. he took the easy way out, while parents are planning to bury their children). if you have not heard, this was a premeditated attack. he made several youtube videos and wrote a 140+ page manifesto detailing his motives (btw, before shooting people, he emailed this document out to 2 dozen people). i did not watch the videos because i did not want to give him another "hit" on youtube, (they have been taken down by now) nor read the manifesto (which is online somewhere), but i got the gist of it from reading several news stories over the weekend.
my focus of this post is not what he said, but for those of you who haven't seen the news, he feels like he has been rejected his whole life. his parents' divorce upset him. he was bothered by his height (he wasn't as tall as he wanted to be). oh, and women would not go out with him. he felt that women should want to go out with him instead of other guys. he was better, but they (the women) wouldn't give him a chance. he wanted to have sex, but was turned down. he targeted sorority girls ("stuck up sluts"). he wanted to kill women so they would pay for all the times he had been turned down and rejected.
my focus is what followed after these events played out. my focus is what happened as we (the people) learned the details of this psychopath. i can't say where it all started, but the hashtag #YesAllWomen showed up on twitter. women were telling stories of fear, harassment, rape, abuse, discrimination, rape culture, etc. it was quite empowering and i even joined in. #YesAllWomen trended all weekend and thousands of women tweeted (and retweeted).
here's what pissed me off. here's what i want to focus on. there was backlash from men. first were the posts on the shooter's youtube video that said he did the right thing; that those women deserved to die; that women are bitches, sluts (not exact quotes, but you get the point). wtf? this poor little rich kid (he drove a BMW and his dad works in hollywood) couldn't get a date, so innocent people (men were killed too) deserved to die. these weren't even the girls that turned him down (which is ALSO VERY WRONG, but would make a little more sense). he just randomly shot girls outside a sorority house. these innocent college students with their whole lives in front of them, did not DESERVE to die. any guy that would agree with the shooter's views or actions... (i'm not quite sure how to finish that sentence. should they be shot? should they be locked up? they certainly don't deserve to walk around with the rest of us in society).
second, men were upset by the #YesAllWomen because not ALL men feel the same way toward women. they took to hashtag not all men (don't want to put actual hashtag because i don't want to encourage it). men would post that women need to let it go. that this was one guy. there are nice guys out there. men would post, putting women down for making it a "gender issue" when it is really a "mental health issue". they attacked all these women, accusing them as being feminists (why is that a bad thing? even some women think it's bad to be labeled a "feminist").
here's the reality. we live in a male dominated society. men feel women owe them. a woman should not turn down a man's advances. she's a bitch if she doesn't respond to catcalls as she just tries to walk to her car. "no" means, "just convince me", or in some cases, "do what you choose with my body--it's your right". THIS HAS TO STOP!!
this is a gender issue. this guy felt rejected by women, so he made a plan to kill as many as he could. sure, he is mentally unstable (seeing several therapists), but he had a vendetta against women. he blamed them for his problems.
after reading some of the men's tweets with the other hashtag, i started thinking. sure, not all men are like that. there are nice guys who would never take advantage of a woman or hurt them because they felt rejected by them. but out of all the men i have encountered in my life, few fall into that category. i've written about online dating and guys asking for sex with the initial email. i've been told i'm not "adventurous" because i wouldn't make out with a guy when i first met him at starbucks. i've been groped on dance floors when i didn't want to be. oh, and i was raped by a man who felt that all women owed him. i was #50 in his quest to take over the world by asserting his arrogance and privilege. i was not the first woman he raped, nor was i the last. most men i have encountered, fall into the same thinking as the shooter (just not that extreme).
this is getting long and i could probably go on all night. my point is, there is a HUGE GENDER ISSUE in this country (world) and WE (as PEOPLE) need to do something about it. we need to get rid of the delusion that women owe men. women should not have to live in fear--will i get robbed? raped? killed?
final thought: if i went on a shooting rampage to get retribution against being rejected by so many men in my life (my father included), i would be called a psycho bitch. no one would go to my youtube page and say i did a good thing and that those men i shot deserved it. i would be called names (slut, ugly, crazy). i would not be a hero in anyone's eyes. this guy in california SHOULD NOT be a hero either. do not let men tell you this isn't a gender issue--stand up and fight for your rights as a PERSON!
#YesAllWOmen
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