knowledge is power!

sigh... i don't know how to start this post. i'm in a whiney mood, so it may come off that way. it may also skip around a lot because lately my thoughts have been all over the place.

i'll start here--last fall i started my MFA at a low residency program in CT. it was intense, but i was learning a lot and i was actually writing. the problem was i was overloaded with too much emotional baggage from last summer. that paired with being at a job that i didn't like made it hard to concentrate on my studies. then my sister died in April. i was already behind for the semester, but there was no way i could finish. everything was shot to hell. so i took incompletes (which i still haven't completed). i also decided to put the MFA on hold and not return this fall. that was a hard decision to make but it seemed like too many things were standing in my way.

fast forward to last night--i had my beginning of semester meeting at HCC. they had capella university come talk to us about the partnership they have with HCC. i picked up a list of courses they offer (it's all online) and read it over. there were a couple that interested me. i asked for more information. the have a PhD program in Postsecondary Ed/Adult Education. this degree prepares you to teach college. a PhD would get me into the college level (past the community colleges) where i'd like to be. i could use my masters in early childhood and teach that with the degree capella offers.

then today i had my first day of training for WITS. a lot of the new WITS writers are present or former MFA students at U of H. i was talking to one girl about it. they do have a language requirement, but you can take classes to fulfill that requirement as part of your degree. i started looking around online at their MFA program (#2 in the nation i think i read). it would be so great to be a part of a writing community locally and get the advanced degree.

you probably are thinking i need to stop going places and meeting people because it just puts ideas in my head. well, that's not the case at all. i have ALWAYS loved school. i love to learn. i crave new knowledge like a drug. i also like interacting with fellow writers/students and having "smart" discussions.

when asked by the woman at jewish family services who has been helping me with my career search asked me what my dream job would be i replied without missing a beat: teaching college and writing. simple, right? so why can't i make my dream come true? why does life have to be so fucking hard? (the whiney part). even if i don't get a MFA i could still teach early childhood and write in my spare time. hell, i would have to write articles and stay current at whatever college i was working at. that would be writing as part of my job. the fiction stuff could be on the side.

i need a sign--something to tell me what to do.