overwhelmed

i'm in connecticut at the writing residency. i am a "typical" first semester student--i'm overwhelmed and out of my league. well maybe it's not "typical"--i think it's just me. today i was wondering how i even got accepted here, but i must show some talent or i wouldn't be here. i'm not saying my work is "perfect"--i know i have a lot of growing to do, but i didn't think it was totally lacking... well maybe it's not--but i felt that way in workshop today. i just feel totally inexperienced among all this talent. i hope i'm doing the right thing by joining this program.

we have to construct our own syllabi (with the guidance of a mentor). i had my first mentor meetings on sunday and i have my 2nd meetings tomorrow. i feel pretty prepared. in fact, one mentor could only meet with me for a short time on monday and we got the syllabus done and submitted for approval. so that is one thing off my plate. i just have the two to complete tomorrow. i'm looking foward to that part of the process because it gets into what i'll actually be working on during the semester. i'm ready to move forward and focus on all this reading and writing that is going to help me grow so when the next residency rolls around i'm a little more prepared and on target with my writing.

on a side note, i return to work on monday. since i've had the summer from hell (not going into that now--in fact--probably not ever) i don't feel rested and ready to face all i have to do at the beginning of the school year. To top it off, up until a few hours ago i thought i was teaching math and science. although that is not my area of expertise i was ready for something different and a bit of a challenge. now it turns out that i will probably (most likely) be teaching reading/language arts. i should be excited about this since it's my comfort zone and what i know but i was really looking foward to an easy time. by easy i mean less grading (not having to grade essays). but i'm flexible and will do what is best for the children. if me teaching reading and writing is the best thing, then i'll do it with a smile!

so i'm a little overwhelmed with life right now, to say the least... i know i'll get through it and that everything that is happening is happening for a reason and it'll all be great, but it's getting through the initial changes that presents a challenge... when you have one idea about what life should be and then it is suddenly changed without your consent (totally out of your control) then it's a little hard to swallow at first. anyway--that's all for now...