feelings

i hate having these intense "girly" feelings... i want to shout out to J how much i care about him and use the "L" word! that's crazy!  well maybe it's not crazy, but it feels that way.  life would be a lot easier if i didn't have these strong emotions.

i'm also feeling sad.  not because of J. it's because of something else.  but this sad feeling is just as intense as my happy feeling.

does everyone feel stuff the way i do?

i feel like i feel things to the extreme.  everything is black and white--no gray areas.

while i'm talking about feelings, i feel like i'm losing my momentum in my class.  there are 4 weeks left and i'm getting tired of doing homework all the time.  i need to push forward and keep going.  after i finish this term, i'll have about 3 weeks off before the next one.  i've got to write my big research paper. i've started it, but just barely.

mostly i just feel tired.  physically tired.  tired of bullshit tired.  emotionally tired.  just tired.  i need more than sleep.

i have to reassure my readers that overall, i am happy.  things have really turned around for me.  i just don't know what to do with all that i am feeling.  any tips?